Orchad Love

"That precious memory triggers another: your honest faith—and what a rich faith it is. And the special gift of ministry you received when I laid hands on you and prayed—keep that ablaze! God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible."

~ 2 Timothy 1:5-7 (Message Version)

and know IAM

When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear & shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name.

If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes
Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know.

And when you go through the valley
And the shadow comes down from the hill
If morning never comes to be
Be still, be still, be still.

If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am.

- Be Still, The Fray 

bel far niente

bel far niente; the beauty of doing nothing.

Sunshine = holiday reading. Or maybe for us in Auckland it should be rain/overcast days = holiday reading. In which case I've had the opportunity to do quite a bit. I've just finished reading the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's filled with stories of her travelling to Italy (every page I read made me dream of going even more! A definite top bucket list candidate.), India and Indonesida, in the search for answers to living with Truth and peace.

Gilbert raised an interseting idea that every single city in the world has a word to define it. May it be power, or faith, success, relentlessness, sex, conformity, pleasure, fighting, devotion,  family, etc. It reminded me of one of my posts a little while ago about colour, and how you could use a colour to define yourself in a similar way. The colour I used for myself back then was aquamarine olive green - a naturally dirty colour. But many months have past since then, and thankfully I'm in a very different place. I've decided that my colour for this season is one of two. Either a teal paradise blue or a burnt amber red. I'm free but it's warm. I feel comforted and yet released all at once. 

Believe me, it's a good way to be. 

I feel like God has allowed me to run free. He's unleashed me into one of His fields where I can skip around in the long grass and do nothing. But it's still His field. The fences that enclose me here still belong to Him. And He is still, very much, the Shepherd of His flock. 

In less poetic terms: I haven't been reading my bible, nor have I been praying all that much. But God is meeting me elsewhere. My summer has been full of beauty. Beautiful friends. Beautiful sunsets. Beautiful art. Beautiful drives. Beautiful music. Beautiful laughter. Beautiful beaches. Beautiful conversations. Beautiful photographs. And for a person like me, a season like that becomes captivating. God has let me off the hook because He is everywhere I look. I could not search for Him more even if I wanted to. If I dropped my 'colour' notion and picked up Gilbert's defining word idea, I think I would have no other option but to define myself under gratitude. Because God has been far too good to me. I'm far too busy "being blessed" and I have no idea what I did to find such favour in Him.

You will chase me, no matter where I run to.

So I am ready to meet You; I'll be ready to meet You. 

I do realise that this season is special and tomorrow could be another day. This year is going to be all about study and discipline and humbly learning many different lessons, so please shoot me if I do not soak up all this "busy being blessed" while I can.

I just want God. I want God inside me. I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself in water.

From the centre of my life, there came a great fountain...

everything has changed

1.30am in the morning. that is the time that i finally decided that enough is enough and willed myself to sleep instead. my mind was not allowed to wander anymore as it almost hurt too much to look back. to me it seemed bizarre that every year I find myself saying "this year went so fast...I can't believe it's already Christmas...where did the time go?" Because at 1.29am this morning I realised that when you look back on it, a year can actually feel like a lifetime.  everything has changed.

and then this morning at a service i was reminded of a promise that i believe He gave me one day in the past 365. the story was of noah. but my mind kept drifting to the symbol of the covenant that God gave His people - that He gave me.

who do you believe when you can't get through, through smoke.

when everything you know seems so untrue. through smoke.

when I'm lost in a place that I thought I knew. through smoke.
give me some way that I might find You, through the smoke.
- through the smoke, needtobreathe

last night my heart could not contain how everything had changed.
but yet where there is darkness let the light come.

counter-bumped hip

Don't ya just hate those.

I swear this happens to me at least once a day. Not necessarily my hip, but counter-bumped pinkie toe doens't have the same ring to it. Actually, thinking about it, why would my pinkie toe have hit the counter. Door frame-bumped pinkie toe. Just proves my point.

But seriously, probably once a day or every other. In fact, just this afternoon I was looking behind me at a child who was following me, and kinda bumper car-ed into the door frame I was walking through. I was subtle. The kid still laughed.

It kinda cracks me up too. Obviously after the pain eases because 'shut the front door' does it hurt - luckily the shock of the random agony seals my lips shut or else my imaginary curse jar would be over flowing. I don't know if it's cos I'm clumsy or cos that door frame, table corner, or wall has moved since I last saw it.

I'm counting on the second.

Luckily it's the sort of thing that's not surgical. Yeah, sure it hurts like crazy. But only for a minute max. Shake it off, and you're good as gold.

Life has been a little like that for me lately.

I have my fair share of counter-bumped hip moments, but nothing that my God needs to come in and swoop me out of. Not saying He can't or won't.

Just that He doesn't need to. And that makes both of us smile.

"Why can't you ever see
What's in front of you."
- The Quiet Kind

And in one little moment, it all implodes.
This isn't everything you are.
Breathe deeply in the silence; no sudden moves.
This isn't everything you are.
Just take the hand that's offered, and hold on tight.
This isn't everything you are.
There's joy not far from here, right? I know there is.
This isn't everything you are.