11.29.2010

maybe ?

all the folly of the past though i know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one still trying to make it right
so i whisper soft your name let it roll around my tongue
you're the only one who knows me
you know me

when i can't feel you i have learned to reach out just the same
when i can't hear you i know you still hear every word i pray
and i want you more than i want to live another day
and as i wait for you
maybe
im made more faithful
- faithful, brooke fraser



11.26.2010

a few of my favs.....

i like chocolate icecream
i like to spend hours watching the stars dance
i like vintage polaroid cameras
i like the colour white
i like road trips
i like spontaneous moments
i like the feeling of conquering one of my many fears
i like laughing out loud, even when no one else gets it
i like listening to foreign accents
i like lying in my bedsheets fresh off the washing line; they smell like sunshine
i like scrapbooking
i like my overly weird kittens
i like the people who trip up in public when they're by themselves
i hate it when that person is me
i like hope99
i like banoffee pie
i like it when i see old couples holding hands
i like isaiah 54 and joel 2
i like watching home videos
i like the feel of waves washing up on my feet
i like dancing in my living room when no one is watching
i like being a little ocd
i like to watch rain drops hitting the window
i like being a south aucklander - even though it has not made me any harder
i like inside jokes
i like board games
i like winning those board games
i like having good coffee with good friends
i like long eyelashes
i like real strawberry icecream melting down my hands
i like siestas with my sister
i like finding quotes that, if only for a second, changes who i want to be
i like thunderstorms
i like being different
i hate it when everyone tries to be the same
i like black nailpolish
i like that i over-analyse every. little. thing.
i like missions
i like flowers delivered to my door
i like to unwrap my christmas presents that my mum thinks shes hidden
i hate surprises
i like making 'to-do' lists
i like to be organised
i like popcorn with melted marshmallows
i like indie music
i like re-reading the txts that i have specically kept
i like jenny and anja
i like coming home from the gym with the feeling that i've done something good
i like house-sitting
i like getting lost
i like it when people laugh at my lame jokes, even if they didn't think it was funny
i like the idea of living in New York; i don't mind that it's never going to happen
i like going for walks
i like Him
and i like him
i like learning a new song on the guitar
i like nana naps
i like doing the fist pump and secret nod with sinead
i like bloc party
i like walking through the airport with a suitcase
i like things to be perfect
i like taking photos that even i am surprised with
i like kikki.k
i like ray bans
i like spending hours looking through a cute, secondhand bookshop
i like the moments when i am caught up in worship
i like william fitzsimmons
i like my conversations with my grandparents
i like mascara
i like grey's anatomy marathons
i like dusk
i like to take twenty minutes to bungy jump off the harbour bridge
i like baking
i like winding my window down while im driving and singing my favourite songs
i like cleaning
i like to cry in movies
i like that im gulliable; it means that i'm trusting
i like tim tam slams
i like not being able to put down a good book
i like to have something to be excitied about
i like diet coke
i like finding out something about myself that i didn't know before
i like hearing good news
i like being a new zealander at an all blacks game
i like sunsets
i like art galleries
i like not caring about what others think
i hate that this is not something i can do
i like japanese food
i like nigella lawson and giada de laurentiis
i like renting movies
i like 1/2 hour showers
i like it when a boy does something gentleman-like
i hate to think that those gestures are long gone
i like iced tea
i like the numbers 3, 9, and 11
i like cliches
i like joesf muller-brockmann posters
i like 'ten thousand angels' by caedmons call
i like croatia
i like that im a morning person
i like silence
i like that these are just a few of the things that i like


11.12.2010

love love love

I'm obssessed with old hymns at the moment. It's strangely comforting to know that even with all the years separating when they were written and today, no relevancy has been lost. Same sins, same questions, same worries. And. They are so beautifully written I could die.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me.
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labour of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Saviour, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eyes shall close in death.,
When I rise to world's unknown,
And behold Thee on Thy throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.
- Rock of Ages, Thomas Hastings, 1830



11.11.2010

Teach Me.

O Lord my God.
Teach my heart this day
where and how to find You.

You have made me and re-made me,
and You  have bestowed on me
all the good things I possess,
and still I do not know you.
I have not yet done
that for which I was made.

Teach me to seek You,
for I cannot seek You
unless You teach me,
or find You
unless You show Yourself to me.

Let me seek You in my desire;
let me desire You in my seeking.
Let me find You by loving You;
let me love You when I find You.

- The Prayer, O Lord My God, by Saint Anselm



11.01.2010

"I believe in the sun, even when it's not shining.
I believe in love, even when I can't feel it.
And, I believe in God, even when He is silent."
- Found scratched upon a wall of a cell in a concentration camp.