I had God in a box.
In fact it's likely I still do. But at least now I know to get a sledge hammer and smash the thing open.
Jesus once asked me if He would be enough for me. He asked me to surrender all my hopes and dreams and to be okay with purely Him alone. Long story short, I did - I have, and I've been feeling out of pocket since. My own dreams and plans seem so perfect. They seem like they will complete me and my life. But I have not being holding Scripture as close to my heart and instead have chosen to stumble across this plain, holding blindly to my own feelings. I have been walking around like a headless chicken. Gross.
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."
- Ephesians 3:20
I never seriously considered that what God might have in store for me could actually be better than what I imagined. Not only might His will contain more than what we might ask or think, but 'infinitely more'. That's not just lots more or heaps more, but I have no end more. Pretty un-comparable to my so-called 'dream' life. I am capable of leaving a legacy here on earth. And not necessarily in having children and raising them to know and love the Lord, who will then go on to teach their children to know and love the Lord, who will go on and do exactly the same. The legacy I leave does not necessarily mean that there will be a vast family of mini- me's who, when the time comes, will get together and celebrate in Heaven. But maybe my legacy will not be with family. Maybe my neighbour who I have shared the gospel with will go on and tell her postman, who will go on and tell his mother, who will tell all the ladies at her book club, who will tell their grandchildren, who will share it with their teacher, who tell their pen pal in Croatia. And maybe, just maybe, the legacy I will leave will end up reaching the prettiest country in the whole entire world. And maybe that will be better than the vast family of mini-me's. Or maybe God has something infinitely more than that.
And in this instant generation that we seem to be a part of, it's easy to tell God to give it now. Where is this apparent I have no end plan you say? Funny you should ask. The amount of time between when Joseph was given his vision to the time that the vision was realised was 14 years. That's a lot of waiting. The disciples were taught by Jesus for years before he went up to heaven, and yet in Acts 1 we see Jesus telling the ready and eager disciples to wait even still.
"Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the gift he promised, as I told you before."
- Acts 1:4
Just wait for it. And as you do pray and build in anticipation for the mighty power of God to be revealed in your life. The same power that formed each individual cell in every human body and that created galaxies that we have yet to have even seen.
I hope that my patience and contentment will be as great as Abraham's. Abraham who continually believed what God had promised. Even though he did not know where he was going or get to see the land that he had sought for so long, he "saw it from a distance and [still] welcomed it" (Hebrews 11:13). He didn't long for the country he came from (his own plans and desire) or else he would have gone back. But instead:
"He was looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland."
- Hebrews 11:16
I plan on doing the same.
"Come to the edge." We can't.
"Come to the edge." We can't. We're afraid.
"Come to the edge." We can't. We will fall.
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And He pushed them.
And they flew.